Player Profile

Martin Owen Elliott BSc

Striker

Martin Elliott

Martin was a regular in the Old Boys ranks apart from a three year spell back in his native Wales, rediscovering all (the sheep) it had to offer. He added his weight to the Old Boys attack (literally), and showed all the signs of a true goalscorer, i.e. missing piss easy chances, and making ridiculous claims for goals from shots that were going way off target and had taken about five deflections.

However, his Old Boys goalscoring tally was nonetheless very impressive, as he was always keen to remind many an irate defender who dared to mention anything about his weight. Moe was also loyal to his team, as was shown in the cup game at Hammer where the oppo keeper was laying into a grounded Davin, and whereas most of the team stood back and applauded, Moe flew in with the sort of quality rugby tackle sadly missing from the Welsh national side in the early 2000s.  The referee was much less impressed, showing him the red card.

Off the field, the once social secretary was a charmer to the ladies, and remains the only man ever to succeed in pulling a girl by pretending to lasso her across the dance floor. Now back in the valleys, he recently made a reappearance for the Agbeni wedding where the squeaky voice and ample waistline was all too familiar.